Their latest offering, embodied in the Government's green paper: "A Framework for Government Research and Development", is remarkable, even by their standards, for its blatant lies in support of Heathco's snivelling technocracy.

In brief, the "Bun Boys" are out to smash the research councils and transfer control over all scientific research into the eager mittens of government departments.

This outrageous power craving, cloaked by a delightful euphemism: "The customer-contractor principle", is causing serious unrest among academics who view with horror the prospect of compulsory research into male cosmetics, ordered by the Grocer himself.

Inexplicably, the "Bun Boys" did not say whether Teethco's customers will be car manufacturers or lowly pedestrians, doomed to slow, choking deaths.

Well might Prof Bolton, President of the Association of University Teachers, ask at a Durham conference recently: "Who would be in a position to demand research into pollution of our environment by smoke, noise, DDT or sewage?

"Who would counteract the activities of rings which exclude competition and prevent refinements to improve safety and cost, and who would keep an eye on nerve gas or atomic energy or structural safety?"

The bum boys even claim that the Council for Scientific Policy supports their lunatic ravings, but this is sheer fabrication.

What the CSP in fact say in their latest report is: "We suggest that this nation cannot afford the loss of efficiency, scientific and financial, which this plan would entail".

By Wart, our after dinner correspondent.