Whist! lads, haad yor knobs,
An Aa'll tell ye aal a dreedful story,
'Boot the famis Lambton Worm
What rose to fame a Tory.

For Lambton felt inclined to gan
An' join the Government,
An' met a lass in London town
Whose love-life came to prent.
Wi' her his worm got fat an' growed an' growed
An' growed an aaful size:
It hed greet big byen, a greet big head,
An' wore an ald school tie.

The news ov this myest aaful worm
An' its queer gannins on
Seun spread araand, gat te the ears
O' green Ted (what oney used his hand).
An' so they hoyed him oot the hoose,
An' fund he'd gan to pot,
An aaful crime, ye owt te knaa
- It makes ye laff a lot.

Noo, lads, Aa'll haad me gob,
Aa've told aboot the story.
Ye gals what want to meet this worm
Mun gan oot on Safari.