|Issue 7 - July 1972|
ideas for this editorial issued from deep in the throats of two policemen
who loitered beneath our balcony whistling nonchalantly during most of
the time we were doing layout. Talking about layout we really must tell
you a funny story. There we all were in the office, no sleep for three
days, bent over the layout tables, squinting in the candlelight when in
walks this weird guy. "Has anybody got any old shoes?", he says.
"What size are you?", says young Andy, and, upon learning that
the guy took size 9½s, promised to bring in an old pair. During
this conversation nobody looked up except Andy who cast a glance in the
guy's direction and vaguely noticed that he was trying on Maurice's shoes.
After a couple of minutes the guy bade us farewell and departed. Half
an hour later Maurice noticed that his shoes had gone. Being a keen fan
of Z Cars our lad soon put two and a bit together and realised that the
guy must have forgotten to take the shoes off his feet. Maurice would
love his shoes back because things have got to a stage where he's getting
blisters on his blisters.
As far as Muther Grumble is concerned yesterday's leader is today's office boy. It will be obvious to everyone that this issue is very different from the last one. We can only explain the very heavy feeling of the last issue by admitting that we fell victim to communist infiltration. Obviously what we need is more comedy and humour and laughs and jokes. Maybe if we all wanted to make a million £'s and sell 12,000,000 copies of Muther Grumble No 7 then we should include more sex and violence and pornography and drugs; but maybe that's not what we're about. So there ain't no need for alarm because your Muther hasn't sold out yet, as Tutsy would say; "Maybe we'll have to go to prison but we're not bothered, it's quite fun being masochists. We'd do anything for a free press". Yes folks, you can still rely on Muther to keep pushing the Blue Meanies up against the wall. We're getting really organised now, the other week we managed to smuggle 200 Angry Brigade badges, hidden in currant buns, to our bruvers in Durham Jail - the Iron Fist in the Iron Cage, as you might say.
Mind you, the last issue wasn't a complete failure. The Woman's Own are very keen to reprint the Martin Cold interview but apparently it will have to be hotted up. And the Beano wants to reprint the pages on Claimants' Unions in a comic strip featuring Desperate Dan who is going to attempt to claim for a Cow Pie under Section 13. It's been suggested that in the editorial of this issue we should advise our readers which pages are worth reading. Ian thinks the page numbers are worth reading because he typed them. Apart from that we've discussed this issue at length and decided that if you want to know What's On you should read the back page. If you don't want to know What's On don't buy the paper cos the rest is just space-fillers. As one of our male models said recently whilst posing in an awkward position; "I wish people would stop buying this paper so as I'd have time to have a bath".
Anyway, because we like indulging ourselves we have yet to reach the decision to cut down the length of the editorial (to one sentence) so we'll fill in the rest of the space by being a little bit serious. It's a fact that we don't have an editor or any kind of boss / worker situation. We rely upon everyone discussing things fully and despite the fact that as individuals we are all different in our ideas we still get on well enough together to be able to produce a newspaper. There isn't anybody who could guess what the next issue is going to be like (at the rate our finances are going it will probably be printed on the back of a postage stamp), it's just like a plant. Stay with us, believe in your Muther and with a little bit of luck we'll all live happily ever after.